I often have people come up and tell me how special I am. I am even told that there is a very special place in Heaven saved just for me and people just like me.
Why? Why am I so special? Because of Bailynn? Because I have 5 children? Because I keep myself calm and composed out in public? Because my children are well behaved and have manors? Because others can’t see themselves being able to pull off my life?
I’ll let you in on a little secret, I am not anymore special than you. I don’t have some special seating in Heaven. I don’t have a hold on everything in my life. I cry. I fall apart. I loose the sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. I fall into deep sadness and have to remind myself that it will do me no good. I wish. I hope. I pray – a lot. I never look at myself, my life, my situation and think I’m better than anyone else; I’m simply doing my job.
So I wonder why so many people say that to me. “There is a special place for you in Heaven!!” I wonder if they understand that before I stood in my shoes, I had no idea I could do this either. I had no idea I could happily change my 15 year olds diaper while she blew raspberries at me. I had no idea I could cath someone, that blood didn’t make me woozy, that poo is no more than a hand wash away from being gone, that urine and I have major issues, that blending food to look like vomit would be a daily routine, that I would do more laundry in one day than most families do in a week, and most of all I had no idea who I could be. I wonder if the same people who tell me they couldn’t do it and how special I am realize – they could and are too. They can. You can. No, you don’t want to and no you wish not to, but trust me, when you love someone as much as I love Bailynn, this is easy. We are all going to share the same Heaven. We are all going to get to see Bailynn dance and sing. No one gets cheap seats.
Update: Bailynn is currently fighting a rare UTI. She has a bacteria not typically found in urine growing her her bladder. We had some issues getting the medication on Friday to start it, but we have it and she has been on it now for 4 days. I have to take a new urine sample in 6 days and have it tested again. We shall see. She seems to finally be feeling a little better. They are hoping that this is the cause of fever spikes when she has tired to restart her medication for her Tuberous Sclerosis. We are hoping this is the case as well. We are on the countdown to finding out. I will keep everyone up-to-date as we find things out.
Today I started a T-Shirt Campaign to help raise funds for Bailynn’s ongoing medical treatments and past expenses that we still have in loan. This is a fun way to support Bailynn and to get to show off some of my art designs. If you are interested, go look at the designs here – www.Booster.com/bailynnhammonds . Currently there are 4 designs. I’m sure Bob and I will come up with more! 🙂 I am thankful for being pointed in this direction. What a unique and special idea for Bailynn!