I feel like my family is stuck in a sick, dark version of the Groundhog Day movie. Our version is full of ridiculous superstitions that bombard us with misfortune.  We persistently live on Friday the 13 and I feel like we are delicately balancing a box full of broken mirrors across the cracked floor of the basement in a ladder factory while our path is being crossed by a clowder (No lie this is the name for a herd of cats, I googled it. You just learned something. You are welcome!) of black cats.
I will admit that my girls have played with umbrellas inside my house – how many years bad luck is that? They pick up all shinny pennies – tales up included, bad luck too right!?!?. I could drape my family in rabbit feet (but eww, really eww!). I could apparently make my family wear their clothes inside out (with my kid’s sensory issues, this would never fly), string garlic about (that would be an interesting all-the-time aroma). There are all kinds of superstitions I could dive headfirst into, but the main issues is, my family is stuck. We are cemented in a turn of bad, awful, down right miserable luck.  When will the crazy stop!?!? We are praying for a break, a light at the end of the dark and dismal tunnel.

I will start with –
Our dog Charlie died. We had to make the heart wrenching decision to put him to sleep yesterday. Our family had watched his health diminish, after Bess passing, at an incredible rate. We had taken him to a vet twice that only really wanted to focus on his teeth and depression. She didn’t even scan him or run blood-work till I begged for blood-work the second time. His blook-work came back ok for the most part. His potassium was low and a second round of medications were prescribed. My worries for his continuing decline never really addressed. So yesterday morning I found another vet to take a look at him and get a second opinion. It had been 4 weeks since we had seen the vet the first time. The first test that was ordered was an X-ray. The first test would change our day. The first test would steal another piece of our hearts. Charlie’s liver was being consumed by a large mass that was subsequently pressing on his diaphragm, intestines and stomach. Our boy had a chronic illness and we had no idea. The signs were not brought to light till Bess passed. The vet said her passing, the stress and depression, probably set his condition off worse. I had often teased that I had no idea how Charlie could live without his Bess. He loved her so much. He was the best daddy and husband. You have never seen a dog so completely devoted to his companion dog. He lived for her. He was dying himself, but let no one know, for his beloved wife. He was a magnificent dog. His life ended yesterday. Choosing this fate for him was one of the worst moments of my life, but he was starving to death and there was absolutely nothing they could do (and trust me, my crazy need to not let anything else bad happen would have jumped at any fix with a glimmer of hope). He had dwindled to less than a shadow of his former self. He had loved and lost and now was suffering. I wanted to scream. The girls were  are in pieces. I was am in pieces. Our hearts shattered. We have now lost three pets in 17 months time. Minet to poison last May when we hit ground water putting in our pool – the great pool-tastrophe of 2014. Then Bess to Cancer in September and Charlie in October to what the vet believed (without biopsy to confirm) liver cancer. I love my pets. I love how much my children love their pets. To watch this misery unfold on their faces, in their hearts, while everything else with Bailynn and her health issues revolves around us – it is beyond devastating. This is so unlikely. This is so out of the ordinary. I had my little dog die when I was around 6 or 7 and then I didn’t have another dog pass till I was 20. They have experienced an overload of grief lately. Bob and  I are holding it together, Bob better, for them. A lesson in death, a chance to look at life and see its precious value. A lesson for worse, darker days.

Our amazing Charlie
Today, with heavy hearts and tear-filled eyes, we made our way to Indy to get Bailynn’s cast removed. Bittersweet in the mist of this tragedy. We now focus on the re-start of her medication to combat the continually growing tubers in her kidneys. She took her first does Saturday. Her fever spiked yesterday. High. We test for a UTI again! Yes, again, to see, and then try the med if everything looks clear. She needs to be back on this medication.  Her kidney’s need this medication!

Our family could really use a break. A breather from this continually insanity! 7 tickets to beach and sun please!?!? The icing on the cake was receiving a letter in the mail denying all of Bailynn’s food and the invoice from Bai’s surgery, impeccable timing. This is just what we need, a fight. No. I want a break. Please world, just give Bai what she needs. Please, just let our family have respite from all this drama.

For Her

Booster Campaign is re-launched for all those  interested after seeing the shirts. Click here to order www.Booster.com/Bailynn-Hammonds. It will run for 16 more days.

I have other shirt designs at www.zazzle.com/bobbihammonds as well.

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